You won’t access your potential as a group leader without this skill: self-regulation.

If you want to make conscious choices, your body can’t be in reaction mode. It has to be in regulation mode. When you’re reactive, your nervous system is busy defending, bracing, or escaping. When you’re regulated, you regain access to choice.

To use your cognitive tools—to intentionally generate psychological safety, to respond instead of react, and to activate the courage required for big, brave actions—you must start by regulating yourself. Self-regulation is the gateway to all effective leadership behaviors.

The most important tool for self-regulation is awareness. Simply noticing your state creates space. “Oh, I’m frazzled” may be one of the most powerful sentences you can say to yourself. That moment of recognition interrupts the spiral.

Once you’re aware, do whatever works for you to regulate. Shake your body. Breathe deeply. Repeat a mantra. Move vigorously. There’s no single right method—only the one that brings you back into your body and out of automatic reaction.

When you’re self-regulated, your brain’s capacities expand. You think more clearly, connect more easily, and lead with intention instead of impulse.